one roadtrip, a pug named walt whitman, and popcorn flavored jelly belly's

Its 4:29 in the morning, but it’s the best time to write. Instead of lying in bed thinking of sentences, I think I’ll finally take the time to write them down, since my studying is done, and I have time.

I saw “Seeking a Friend for the End of the World” the other night, and since then, I’ve been thinking about it. It wasn’t like “Little Miss Sunshine” where you find yourself laughing almost to tears despite the obvious cracks in characters and dreams, and so on and so forth. Nope, “Seeking a Friend for the End of the World” was much darker to me than funny, but though I didn’t laugh so much, I found it endearing anyway.  

I kind of decided that maybe we’d all be doing what we’re supposed to be doing, going where we’re supposed to be going, and saying what we’re supposed to be saying if we all knew that we’d be wiped clean from existence in a month.

Phrases like “what if,” or “but” wouldn’t really exist anymore, because the possibilities following those two phrases wouldn’t even exist…not really. I mean, if you had a month to live, would you really consider the potentially humiliating, embarrassing, or stupid repercussions of your actions? I wouldn’t.  

It’s not like you have to live with the consequences, and dying with them might make some light of the situation. I mean, here comes the end- catching the air on fire- and in that last second, if you’re not closing your eyes tight, or holding your breath, or being- you know- realistically human, then you can think of all the wonderful things you just did out of pure bravery and selflessness. You could laugh just as you disappear realizing how simple it was, and how you should have done it sooner.  

I’m just saying. If we all knew the world was ending, we’d be free of it…. 

So, these past few days, I’ve been thinking realistically for once, and not romantically (gasp!), about what I would do if I, and all of you, had one more month to live. 

Now, because the world is not ending next month, I can’t be selflessly honest, but I’ll share what I can

I’d leave. I’d start driving to the middle of nowhere, and I’d try to see as much of it as I could. The irony is, I want to go to Italy so badly, but if the world were ending, I think I’d rather go somewhere quiet. I think I’d drive west. I’d go weaving around the middle, up and down, where the dirt turns red, and the sky gets clear, and the Rockies pierce through the serene landscape their sitting in. And my favorite would be sitting in the passenger seat. 

I’d sleep in my car, and I’d lie on the hood, and I’d watch the stars. I’d eat sandwiches, and drink wine, and I would hunt down Ben and Jerry’s Cheesecake and Brownie ice cream. I know it’s out there, somewhere. 

Prior to my escape from familiar, I’d post every single blog I’ve written. All of those I’ve written but haven’t posted for various reasons, they’d be posted. Bam. And the novel I’m working on, I’d post it too. I mean, there isn’t time to attempt to get it published, so I’d publish it myself, online of course, and then be tremendously blessed by any pair of eyes to wander over its words. 

The few letters I wrote and never sent. I’d send them. 

I’d talk to a lot of people.  I’d ask them to tell me their stories, and to leave in all of the details, even the seemingly insignificant ones. I’d ask them who they loved, what their favorite was, and what they’re doing with the rest of their time.  

I’d go to a candy store. Random, but I love popcorn Jelly Bellies, and I haven’t had them in a long time. I’d go get some Jelly Bellies for the road.  

I’d go get a pug. I’d get a pug, and name him Walt Whitman.  

I’d get the most amazing and beautiful tattoo, ever, and it just might not be hide-able.  

 

I'd adopt a kid. I'd adopt a little boy or a little girl, and they'd be mine for that whole month, and I'd be theres. And I'd love them more than they'd be loved in that month. I'd tell them jokes, and make them laugh, and let them eat cake for breakfast, at least once, and I'd try my best to answer their quesitons.

 

There are a lot more significant and insignificant things I’d do or attempt, but I think the above is the most I feel like sharing. I don’t think it takes much bravery to do the above, I think most of it just takes time.  

Anyway, it’s a good thing to think about if you need something to think over. Imagine it, The world is ending in a month. Who would you go see? What would you say? Where would you go? And more importantly, what would you do once you got there?

 

Whatever just popped into your mind, you should probably do it any way. And that's the point. If you see clearly who you'd be, what you'd do, what you'd say, and where you'd go...you should be doing them, because it's who you are.