You ask me what I dream of
Let me tell you.
I dream of unfolding in amber shades beneath tree’s arms
I dream of sleep that dreams of me
I dream of beauty without counterfeit smiles
I dream of waking to Hope, engulfed by Love
I dream of heroes and knights and white horses
I dream of sailing in October’s sky
I dream of overcoming the inevitable
I dream of being washed by rain and bathed by grass
I dream of wings
I dream of holding tiny, hungry hands
I dream of masterpiece paintings,
Dusty books caressed by the ink of a worn pen
The stories left behind for others to read
I dream of an uncorrupted self, innocent
I dream of the hand that gathers that innocence with stained hands
I dream of doors in the trunks of trees
And staircases to the stars
I dream of strange places and words,
Their ways both terrifying and beautiful
I dream of dancing girls
I dream of the flowered Wreaths that bloom in their hair
And boys who sail their cardboard ships
I dream of bare feet and their lovely calluses
I dream of roof tip invitations
I dream of music that effortlessly sings from the soul
I tell you these because they were once yours
I dream of what others have forgotten.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Turtle
It has recently come to my attention that I am a turtle. Not the hare or Bugs Bunny, but the slow, old, and green tortoise. I don’t mean literally that I have a green shell which I retreat into or that I have the ability to stretch my neck out to abnormal lengths, but in terms of life I am certainly the slow turtle. I never really paid much attention to the pace at which my life was moving, until I stopped, looked around, and realized that many lives around me were in fast forward… If I were to assign a song to their lives, I think it would be the music one hears after attaining a star in the Mario video games; you know which one I’m talking (typing)about, the one that sounds like a kid who just ate chocolate ice-cream and chased it with sugar water….and now their running in circles screaming. My life on the other hands seems like it sounds like this song on a mix CD one of my friends gave me, slow and mellow. Every time I hear this particular song I can’t help but remember a summer two, no three years ago when I was driving around a lake in my home town. I’m going to take the time to give a good description since I’m pretty positive it represents my life so well…
It was a warm night. The moon was full (I’m not really sure if it was or wasn’t, but I like the idea that it was) and my windows were rolled down just enough to hear the crickets and frogs’ late night music coming from the tall grass joints, their music jazzy and cool with all its low notes and bellows; and the ducks laughing together somewhere on the glass water huddled together beneath a leaning tree, drunk on the sweet air that was filled with honey suckle, sweet olive, and some other lazy scents that makes one’s eyes smile and then close. The road slithered and moved in delicious curves that seemed to rock me to dreams as I drove around the silver water; And that song played in perfect rhythm all the while to those humming toads and snazzy crickets, becoming a part of their singing and the duck’s laughing, and that mysterious silver moon swinging from side to side in that water until I could no longer tell what was music and what was life.
I really just got into writing that, I might extend that into a short fiction piece. Anyway, the point is, my life now, and in that moment, seemed to flow in this slow, yet steady way, even to the point that life harmonized perfectly with it. I’m not sure if you’ll understand just what I’m saying, being that it was a moment I experienced, and also, these are my very abstract yet somewhat tangible thoughts, but still, I’m sure it isn’t one of life’s unsolved mysteries. So, as I was saying, I’ve noticed that many lives seem to be in fast forward. For instance, many people I know, and who are either my age, younger, or even one year older (I’m 21) are now married, possibly with kids, and are pursuing a full time career. I can’t even begin to imagine my life in that stage. It isn’t that I don’t want a career or marriage or children, but my life isn’t moving in pace with their lives, so I just don’t expect those things any time soon. I’ve come to love the pace at which my life is moving. It seems that everything takes so much time, but when it comes along, it’s always perfect timing. I’m pretty sure you can refer to that as God’s will for me. For instance, I never put too much thought into which college to attend, but Auburn just seemed to show up just when it was needed. While others had already declared a major, I was still deciding. When it came time to decide between English and Nutrition, my advisor chose English, but after getting to Auburn, I didn’t feel a perfect peace with that, and so, now I’m doing a double degree in English and Nutrition/Dietetics, which once again took awhile but fell right into the puzzle that is my life. Also, I always hear people talking about their callings and what they want to do, and I’ve put lots or hours and little thought clouds into this, and only now do I really have an inkling of an idea of what I want to do with my life. First off, I’ve always wanted to do something that would glorify God, but secondly, I’ve just always wanted to do something more than expected or maybe adventurous…I’m not really sure which of the two, but I always hoped that my life would turn out like one of those classic romantics that entail adventure, loss, hope, and of course, extremely well written pieces of literature. Take Robinson Crusoe for instance; do I want to be shipwrecked on an island? No, but the thought of being in some distant land with my bare hands and mind excites me more than I can really say. Even reading biographies of people like Mother Teresa, an ordinary woman who did extraordinary things makes me that much thirstier for a life that drinks faith right out of God’s hands. Even now, I’ve slipped into that quixotic part of myself where my eyes glaze and I imagine wonderful things and wonderful places, broken people with wounded hearts, and the thought that maybe God would use me to offer them a tiny piece of a beautiful kingdom. Ok, let me pull my feet back down to earth and out of my mind so I can finish this blog without writing a novel. Recently, and I’ve always watch the commercials and wished that there was something I could do, and now, there is, I want to work with Feed the Children. I’m not sure if I want to work with them permanently, but I would love to intern with them over a summer or even a holiday for a few weeks. Finally, I can actually pursue what I really want to do with a legitimate degree. With Nutrition, I could go to Africa, and I really could be God’s hands feeding those in need, and taking care of those hurt and broken people…just what I want to do. Sigh, it makes me dizzy with happiness to think of how God seems to be leading me down this path to take me where my heart really desires to be. I once dreamed of going to Africa, and two summers ago, God took me there. Now I dream of working in Africa, and I can only imagine where God will take me. Perhaps I’ll never be able to work there and physically hand someone a bowl of food, but maybe God can use me here in the states to impact someone’s life thousands of miles away.
In summary, I suppose I’m just really satisfied right now. I can’t see the whole picture yet, but God has given me some lines and some crayons, and as time unfolds, I guess this picture that I’m coloring, which is my life, will one day be finished. I just hope in the end I can look back and say….what a beautiful picture.
It was a warm night. The moon was full (I’m not really sure if it was or wasn’t, but I like the idea that it was) and my windows were rolled down just enough to hear the crickets and frogs’ late night music coming from the tall grass joints, their music jazzy and cool with all its low notes and bellows; and the ducks laughing together somewhere on the glass water huddled together beneath a leaning tree, drunk on the sweet air that was filled with honey suckle, sweet olive, and some other lazy scents that makes one’s eyes smile and then close. The road slithered and moved in delicious curves that seemed to rock me to dreams as I drove around the silver water; And that song played in perfect rhythm all the while to those humming toads and snazzy crickets, becoming a part of their singing and the duck’s laughing, and that mysterious silver moon swinging from side to side in that water until I could no longer tell what was music and what was life.
I really just got into writing that, I might extend that into a short fiction piece. Anyway, the point is, my life now, and in that moment, seemed to flow in this slow, yet steady way, even to the point that life harmonized perfectly with it. I’m not sure if you’ll understand just what I’m saying, being that it was a moment I experienced, and also, these are my very abstract yet somewhat tangible thoughts, but still, I’m sure it isn’t one of life’s unsolved mysteries. So, as I was saying, I’ve noticed that many lives seem to be in fast forward. For instance, many people I know, and who are either my age, younger, or even one year older (I’m 21) are now married, possibly with kids, and are pursuing a full time career. I can’t even begin to imagine my life in that stage. It isn’t that I don’t want a career or marriage or children, but my life isn’t moving in pace with their lives, so I just don’t expect those things any time soon. I’ve come to love the pace at which my life is moving. It seems that everything takes so much time, but when it comes along, it’s always perfect timing. I’m pretty sure you can refer to that as God’s will for me. For instance, I never put too much thought into which college to attend, but Auburn just seemed to show up just when it was needed. While others had already declared a major, I was still deciding. When it came time to decide between English and Nutrition, my advisor chose English, but after getting to Auburn, I didn’t feel a perfect peace with that, and so, now I’m doing a double degree in English and Nutrition/Dietetics, which once again took awhile but fell right into the puzzle that is my life. Also, I always hear people talking about their callings and what they want to do, and I’ve put lots or hours and little thought clouds into this, and only now do I really have an inkling of an idea of what I want to do with my life. First off, I’ve always wanted to do something that would glorify God, but secondly, I’ve just always wanted to do something more than expected or maybe adventurous…I’m not really sure which of the two, but I always hoped that my life would turn out like one of those classic romantics that entail adventure, loss, hope, and of course, extremely well written pieces of literature. Take Robinson Crusoe for instance; do I want to be shipwrecked on an island? No, but the thought of being in some distant land with my bare hands and mind excites me more than I can really say. Even reading biographies of people like Mother Teresa, an ordinary woman who did extraordinary things makes me that much thirstier for a life that drinks faith right out of God’s hands. Even now, I’ve slipped into that quixotic part of myself where my eyes glaze and I imagine wonderful things and wonderful places, broken people with wounded hearts, and the thought that maybe God would use me to offer them a tiny piece of a beautiful kingdom. Ok, let me pull my feet back down to earth and out of my mind so I can finish this blog without writing a novel. Recently, and I’ve always watch the commercials and wished that there was something I could do, and now, there is, I want to work with Feed the Children. I’m not sure if I want to work with them permanently, but I would love to intern with them over a summer or even a holiday for a few weeks. Finally, I can actually pursue what I really want to do with a legitimate degree. With Nutrition, I could go to Africa, and I really could be God’s hands feeding those in need, and taking care of those hurt and broken people…just what I want to do. Sigh, it makes me dizzy with happiness to think of how God seems to be leading me down this path to take me where my heart really desires to be. I once dreamed of going to Africa, and two summers ago, God took me there. Now I dream of working in Africa, and I can only imagine where God will take me. Perhaps I’ll never be able to work there and physically hand someone a bowl of food, but maybe God can use me here in the states to impact someone’s life thousands of miles away.
In summary, I suppose I’m just really satisfied right now. I can’t see the whole picture yet, but God has given me some lines and some crayons, and as time unfolds, I guess this picture that I’m coloring, which is my life, will one day be finished. I just hope in the end I can look back and say….what a beautiful picture.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Tailor Made
There is a question that seems to linger in the back of my mind, "Is there someone made specifically for me?" I think about this most often just before I go to bed, when I'm talking to God, and imagining maybe for a moment a man riding upon his white horse, and then, haulting to a stop as he sees me walk by. This little daydream can last for a flash of a second or it can metamorph itself into a modern day fairytale where this unknown prince pursues me and sweeps me off my feet. Of course, I realize that I'm staring at a ceiling covered in stars that I bought at Hobby Lobby, I can hear my neighbor's country music, and my little daydream bubble pops, but then I remember that God is still there, listening to my every thought. So I hang on to my question, since afterall, it's one that I'm still hoping God will be faithful with like every other question that has happened to take residence in my mind. "Has God tailor made someone for me?"
When I ask this question, I assume that most people can understand just what I mean. Is love, marriage, a radom incident where a boy and girl meet, fall in love, and live happily ever, and we make the decision of who and when or does God ultimatley create someone specifically for you, and introduces them when He knows the timeing is just right? I prefer believing in the latter of the two, and since there are so many verses in the bible that discuss God having "ordained all your days before one ever came to be," I'm positive that that certainly includes the person you spend the rest of your life with.
I always refer back to Adam and Eve when lying in bed. Imagine it. The moment God created Eve. Of course, he knew Adam's heart and he knew the desires hiding in each corner. Ironically, Adam, who had these desires, was completely unable to quench them without God, which answers my question that God is in control of satisfying our heart's accoring to his will and plan for our lives. In this case, Adam's desire for companionship is also God's, which ultimately leads to the creation of Eve, and as Genesis goes, even Eve wasn't just thrown together, she was specifically taken our of Adam, the man she was made to love and be loved by. This again, answers another question of mine. God tailor made Eve just for Adam. I love that God used Adam's rib to make Eve, it creates a beutiful connection and union between them, the idea that they really are two people becoming one. As Mathew Henry wrote, "Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him". Eve was everything that Adam could have hoped for, and more. Of course, this was in a perfect world with no sin and Adam and Eve were complete in God, and so, that would surely make their relationship one that I can't even begin to imagine other than the selfless love that God has for me, but still, it leads me to believe that God has made someone for me. I'm only more strongly encouraged after reading the story of Issac and Rebekah in Genesis 24.
Issac sends a servant to find him a wife, which would seem like he is allowing someone else, or circumstances to bring his wife to him; yet, by a series of events it is apparant that God was orchestrating the entire affair. My favorite part of the entire story is when Isaac, who is out in the fields, looks up and sees Rebekah and she too looks up and sees Isaac. I mean really, that sounds like a secene from a Romance movie. I can imagine Isaac meditating in the field, quietly thinking to himself, perhaps asking the same question that I ask myself, " is there someone Tailor made for me?" "Will I love the woman who comes back, will she love me, is God such a wonderful God that he would do such a thing for me?" And then, at that moment, right when he wonders if God loves him so much to give him what his heart desires, he looks up and sees a woman approaching on a camel, Rebekah. The woman God has brought to Isaac, the woman who probably has the same question in her heart. There isn't a doubt in my mind that God brought Isaac and Rebekah together, for at the very end, Rebekah becomes Isaac's wife and he loves her. God provided.
I don't know who he is, if God's plan for me includes a husband, but I am certain that those who are in God's will are not randomly chosen as wifes or husbands. If God is faithful, then He is faithful. He does not pick and choose, he mereley waits for when his timing will bring him most glory. Even when it comes to love. Love between a man and a woman is such a testimony to the love between God and the church, between God and us. A Godly husband reveals to a wife a closer intamacy with God by reflecting his character: God loves us unconditionally, he is jealous of our hearts, he wants to know us, he wants us to know him, he protects us, cares for us, and guards our hearts as does a Godly husband. I'm not saying that a husban is God, by no means can a man live up to God's standards as Jesus did, but what I am saying is that an earthly love between man and wife can be a testiony of God's love and an example of how God loves us. As it goes, God is our first love and our perfect bridegroom, and he doesn't give us mediocre, he gives us more than we can fathom, and so, at the moment I really can't fathom someone tailor made just for me, but I don't underestimate God, I simply can't gather in my mind the increadible love he has for me and the incredible gift of marriage...I don't so much question a tailor made love, I wonder upon it.
When I ask this question, I assume that most people can understand just what I mean. Is love, marriage, a radom incident where a boy and girl meet, fall in love, and live happily ever, and we make the decision of who and when or does God ultimatley create someone specifically for you, and introduces them when He knows the timeing is just right? I prefer believing in the latter of the two, and since there are so many verses in the bible that discuss God having "ordained all your days before one ever came to be," I'm positive that that certainly includes the person you spend the rest of your life with.
I always refer back to Adam and Eve when lying in bed. Imagine it. The moment God created Eve. Of course, he knew Adam's heart and he knew the desires hiding in each corner. Ironically, Adam, who had these desires, was completely unable to quench them without God, which answers my question that God is in control of satisfying our heart's accoring to his will and plan for our lives. In this case, Adam's desire for companionship is also God's, which ultimately leads to the creation of Eve, and as Genesis goes, even Eve wasn't just thrown together, she was specifically taken our of Adam, the man she was made to love and be loved by. This again, answers another question of mine. God tailor made Eve just for Adam. I love that God used Adam's rib to make Eve, it creates a beutiful connection and union between them, the idea that they really are two people becoming one. As Mathew Henry wrote, "Eve was not taken out of Adam's head to top him, neither out of his feet to be trampled by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected by him, and near his heart to be loved by him". Eve was everything that Adam could have hoped for, and more. Of course, this was in a perfect world with no sin and Adam and Eve were complete in God, and so, that would surely make their relationship one that I can't even begin to imagine other than the selfless love that God has for me, but still, it leads me to believe that God has made someone for me. I'm only more strongly encouraged after reading the story of Issac and Rebekah in Genesis 24.
Issac sends a servant to find him a wife, which would seem like he is allowing someone else, or circumstances to bring his wife to him; yet, by a series of events it is apparant that God was orchestrating the entire affair. My favorite part of the entire story is when Isaac, who is out in the fields, looks up and sees Rebekah and she too looks up and sees Isaac. I mean really, that sounds like a secene from a Romance movie. I can imagine Isaac meditating in the field, quietly thinking to himself, perhaps asking the same question that I ask myself, " is there someone Tailor made for me?" "Will I love the woman who comes back, will she love me, is God such a wonderful God that he would do such a thing for me?" And then, at that moment, right when he wonders if God loves him so much to give him what his heart desires, he looks up and sees a woman approaching on a camel, Rebekah. The woman God has brought to Isaac, the woman who probably has the same question in her heart. There isn't a doubt in my mind that God brought Isaac and Rebekah together, for at the very end, Rebekah becomes Isaac's wife and he loves her. God provided.
I don't know who he is, if God's plan for me includes a husband, but I am certain that those who are in God's will are not randomly chosen as wifes or husbands. If God is faithful, then He is faithful. He does not pick and choose, he mereley waits for when his timing will bring him most glory. Even when it comes to love. Love between a man and a woman is such a testimony to the love between God and the church, between God and us. A Godly husband reveals to a wife a closer intamacy with God by reflecting his character: God loves us unconditionally, he is jealous of our hearts, he wants to know us, he wants us to know him, he protects us, cares for us, and guards our hearts as does a Godly husband. I'm not saying that a husban is God, by no means can a man live up to God's standards as Jesus did, but what I am saying is that an earthly love between man and wife can be a testiony of God's love and an example of how God loves us. As it goes, God is our first love and our perfect bridegroom, and he doesn't give us mediocre, he gives us more than we can fathom, and so, at the moment I really can't fathom someone tailor made just for me, but I don't underestimate God, I simply can't gather in my mind the increadible love he has for me and the incredible gift of marriage...I don't so much question a tailor made love, I wonder upon it.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Lonelilly
Singleness. The sound of that word can either bring about a peaceful smile knowing the Lord will bring about Mr. Right when the time comes, or the epic du du dum where you envision yourself as the notorious old woman with cats clinging to the furniture, covering the floors, and hanging off of your shoulders as your wear a miserable frown. Reality Check. Singleness, as Lady in Waiting taught me, is not a curse that eludes happiness, but really it is a gift that allows one the privilege of spending their heart’s time on the Lord.
Now, I know that most singles freak out at the thought of not getting married before thirty and even the prospect of never getting married at all, but after reading this book I learned to step out of the ideal relationship box and take a different look at singleness. How many of us spend as much as an hour getting ready before going on a date? Come on ladies, how many days before do we constantly try on our new little black dress and maybe even dance around? We invest so much of our lives into working out, getting attractive clothing, and making an effort to be appealing to the opposite sex in hopes of getting the date, the ring…the wedding. Those desires for marriage are natural and God given desires, but to look upon singleness as a negative and not a positive requires a change of heart. God makes us single for this solitary purpose: When we're single we should have more time to devote to him and to our spiritual growth.
I know this may seem radical, but think of God as the man or woman you are pursuing. With any other prospect you would spend time with them; talking to them, listening to them, learning about who they are, what they like, and things that make them tick. You learn about who they are so that you may know them more and hopefully pursue something more with them. Though God may seem like the all powerful who doesn’t really need us, he wants the same. He wants to be our one and only love, and he wants to know you, your thoughts, and heart. Hosea depicts God as the abandoned lover perfectly. It reveals God’s desire to be called beloved and to be our first love. To run from singleness with loathing and run towards others’ arms or even other things to fill your life is to run away from God and the gift he hopes he is offering you; the chance to spend more time with him. By spending time with him we can in turn spend time with others, offering our services. We have time to help with a bible study, to go abroad on a mission trip, and we have time to read and study the word. Relationships take time and effort, and though they are wonderful, they require sacrifice. Once married with children, a quiet time might not be possible like it was during singleness. God is not holding out on you, he is giving you time to explore your faith, a relationship with him, and he is teaching you to be satisfied in him alone.
Too often we claim that we would be better off if we were dating, but after reading this book I learned that even married men and women struggle with unsatisfied hearts. The reason for this unsatisfication is due to attempting to fill the space in your heart God has reserved for himself, with what people thought was meant for their significant other. If you take advantage of this time of singleness to devote yourself completely to God and become a woman or a man of abandonment, then you will learn to let God satisfy all of your needs, and all of your heart's desires. Psalms 37:4 says, "delight yourselves in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Through knowing God, our desires, our hearts, will be satisfied. Notice that we CANNOT have the desires of our heats satisfied without first filling a void meant for God. A boyfriend/girlfriend, not even a spouse can satisfy that place in your heart. God uses singleness as a time to teach you satisfaction so that in marriage you will not rely on your spouse to be everything that God is capable of being.
Too often we think God might have overlooked our heart's desires by subjecting us to short and even permanent singleness, but it is vital to remember that "all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them ever came to be" psalms 139:14-18. He knows the perfect plan for all of us, in a way that we can’t even begin to fathom. If you are having a relationship with him or pursing him wholeheartedly like you would your knight in shining armor or lovely lady, then you should trust that he knows your best, and can therefore satisfy you best. I know Mr. or Mrs. Right is so hard to get out of your head, but take a look at the one who holds the world in his hands, fights for you, calls you beloved, and did the most romantic gesture ever by dying for you…that kind of love can’t be found in another human being.
1) I want to be loved..."..I have loved you with an everlasting love.."...Jer. 31.3
2) I want someone to adore me..."The King had brought me into his chambers to adore me, My lover is outstanding amont 10,000 ...Songs 1:4,5:10
3) I want to be accpeted and valued..."I am accepted in the Beloved.. Eph 1:6
4) I want a champion of my causes- one who is willing to fight for me.."The Lord will fight for you..Ex 14:14
5)I want someone to help me in my life. "There is no one like God who rides the heavens to help you..Deut 33:26
6) I want to share my life-the joys and the struggles- with one person. "God will share with me the treasures of darkness and hidden riches."..Is. 45:3
I hope this will help some of you if this is a struggle of yours, and help you get back into a relationship with God. A time of singleness is really a opportunity and a time to become the person God desires for you to be.
Now, I know that most singles freak out at the thought of not getting married before thirty and even the prospect of never getting married at all, but after reading this book I learned to step out of the ideal relationship box and take a different look at singleness. How many of us spend as much as an hour getting ready before going on a date? Come on ladies, how many days before do we constantly try on our new little black dress and maybe even dance around? We invest so much of our lives into working out, getting attractive clothing, and making an effort to be appealing to the opposite sex in hopes of getting the date, the ring…the wedding. Those desires for marriage are natural and God given desires, but to look upon singleness as a negative and not a positive requires a change of heart. God makes us single for this solitary purpose: When we're single we should have more time to devote to him and to our spiritual growth.
I know this may seem radical, but think of God as the man or woman you are pursuing. With any other prospect you would spend time with them; talking to them, listening to them, learning about who they are, what they like, and things that make them tick. You learn about who they are so that you may know them more and hopefully pursue something more with them. Though God may seem like the all powerful who doesn’t really need us, he wants the same. He wants to be our one and only love, and he wants to know you, your thoughts, and heart. Hosea depicts God as the abandoned lover perfectly. It reveals God’s desire to be called beloved and to be our first love. To run from singleness with loathing and run towards others’ arms or even other things to fill your life is to run away from God and the gift he hopes he is offering you; the chance to spend more time with him. By spending time with him we can in turn spend time with others, offering our services. We have time to help with a bible study, to go abroad on a mission trip, and we have time to read and study the word. Relationships take time and effort, and though they are wonderful, they require sacrifice. Once married with children, a quiet time might not be possible like it was during singleness. God is not holding out on you, he is giving you time to explore your faith, a relationship with him, and he is teaching you to be satisfied in him alone.
Too often we claim that we would be better off if we were dating, but after reading this book I learned that even married men and women struggle with unsatisfied hearts. The reason for this unsatisfication is due to attempting to fill the space in your heart God has reserved for himself, with what people thought was meant for their significant other. If you take advantage of this time of singleness to devote yourself completely to God and become a woman or a man of abandonment, then you will learn to let God satisfy all of your needs, and all of your heart's desires. Psalms 37:4 says, "delight yourselves in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Through knowing God, our desires, our hearts, will be satisfied. Notice that we CANNOT have the desires of our heats satisfied without first filling a void meant for God. A boyfriend/girlfriend, not even a spouse can satisfy that place in your heart. God uses singleness as a time to teach you satisfaction so that in marriage you will not rely on your spouse to be everything that God is capable of being.
Too often we think God might have overlooked our heart's desires by subjecting us to short and even permanent singleness, but it is vital to remember that "all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them ever came to be" psalms 139:14-18. He knows the perfect plan for all of us, in a way that we can’t even begin to fathom. If you are having a relationship with him or pursing him wholeheartedly like you would your knight in shining armor or lovely lady, then you should trust that he knows your best, and can therefore satisfy you best. I know Mr. or Mrs. Right is so hard to get out of your head, but take a look at the one who holds the world in his hands, fights for you, calls you beloved, and did the most romantic gesture ever by dying for you…that kind of love can’t be found in another human being.
1) I want to be loved..."..I have loved you with an everlasting love.."...Jer. 31.3
2) I want someone to adore me..."The King had brought me into his chambers to adore me, My lover is outstanding amont 10,000 ...Songs 1:4,5:10
3) I want to be accpeted and valued..."I am accepted in the Beloved.. Eph 1:6
4) I want a champion of my causes- one who is willing to fight for me.."The Lord will fight for you..Ex 14:14
5)I want someone to help me in my life. "There is no one like God who rides the heavens to help you..Deut 33:26
6) I want to share my life-the joys and the struggles- with one person. "God will share with me the treasures of darkness and hidden riches."..Is. 45:3
I hope this will help some of you if this is a struggle of yours, and help you get back into a relationship with God. A time of singleness is really a opportunity and a time to become the person God desires for you to be.
Am I Beautiful?
"Am I Beautiful?"
It is a question that most of us women, if not all of us, linger on every morning when we are brushing our hair, putting on our makeup, or trying to decide if today is going to be a t-shirt day or a “cute” day. Am I beautiful? We might not wonder if the sun envies us like the fair Juliet, but something in us is screaming at the top of its lungs just to hear someone tell us that we are breathtaking, though pretty would do. We want a movie scene where a man knows every shade of our eyes, where everyone happens to look to the top of the staircase where we stand gleaming in our dress, or maybe a few compliments would do. It is healthy and natural for us as women to worry whether we are beautiful or not, because in wondering, we search for what real beauty is. Sadly, we find ourselves searching in all the wrong places: We end up watching movies where the beauty has long legs and a short skirt, comparing ourselves to women in our classrooms or offices, or watching those plastic surgery shows where beauty is only a breast augmentation or liposuction away. Our idea of beauty is often distorted by worldly views and too often it leads one to a devastating sense of self, and possibly, even worth. God created us in His image, and that image is not flawed. We are beautiful, but we have to learn to recognize what genuine beauty is and stop settling for the counterfeited. God tells us what true beauty is, and surprisingly, it has nothing to do with your weight, height, or cup size, but instead, “matters of the heart.” If we could only see ourselves from God’s eyes, the eyes of the beholder, we wouldn’t even need to question the reflection in the mirror.
The Woman God Created You to Be
As silly as it sounds, women remind me of shoes: We can be feminine, sporty, tall, short, curvy, flat, simple, eccentric, a range of colors, and let’s not forget that we come in all sizes. However wonderful and diverse that sounds, some of us can’t wait until we have that bump on our nose removed or lose just fifteen more pounds. We “know” that everyone is different, yet we live as if we should all be the same. The point is that we are buying into the lies of counterfeited beauty and what it “should” look like. Ironically, taller women wish they were a little shorter because short is cute, but short women would love to be taller, because no one realizes that when your short, fat has nowhere to go but out. Women with freckles do everything to get rid of them, while those without would lay in the sun all day to get just one. Curvy women might think they look a little bigger, but we sticks wish we had something to fill out our new jeans. We all know laying out can cause skin cancer, sun spots, and wrinkles, yet we are determined to have a tan because that’s what everyone says is beautiful. If you notice the cycle, you will see that we are all trying to be each other. We all desire each other’s gifts, talents, and especially physical features, but if all of these wishes were granted, we would all be walking clones of each other. We are all unique for a reason, and that uniqueness is awesome. I love walking to class and admiring long hair, short hair, curly hair, small noses, big noses, and even the way other women walk. Each one of us is an original painting that has been personally signed by God, and it is such a shame if we never look at ourselves as a masterpiece, but instead, blot out this or redo that or even crop out a whole section just because we can’t see through God’s eyes and appreciate just how beautiful we truly are. Psalms 139: 14-18 says:
For you formed my inward parts;
You knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
When I was being made in secret,
Intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance
God didn’t just throw on those freckles and “weird” nose. No, we are “intricately woven”. We are each designed and created, and we are each “wonderfully made.” It does not matter what the world says is beautiful, because we are not the world’s creation, we are God’s. Once we realize we all have a specific blue-print, it should be so easy to embrace everything about our body and face, even our flaws and quirks, because those had just as much time in creation as everything else. Being satisfied with yourself will bring about an acceptance and a confidence in yourself that you might have never felt before, and it will certainly be a way for you to praise the Lord.
Beauty is as Beauty Does
My mom has been telling me this endlessly for years, but it came to my attention that God said it way before she was ever born. Let me ask you a question. How many of you have met a woman who was absolutely beautiful, but after five minutes of talking to her, you could swear that the grim reaper was just behind her flowing, thick, and perfectly groomed hair? I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve watched a perceived angel turn into a snarling monster, but it is in those moments that I realize that beauty really is as beauty does. In first peter 3:4 it says "But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." He also says in 1 Samuel 16:7 “…For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on his appearance or on the height of his stature, but the Lord looks on the heart.” As you can see, beauty has absolutely nothing to do with outer appearances, though what is on the outside was created carefully by God, it is the heart that matters most. I’m reminded of a song by Bethany Dillon called “Beautiful,” and my favorite part is “look inside my heart and be amazed”: I know we care about what we look like, but I know for a fact that we care more about who we are. We want people to know our deepest thoughts, and feelings, and desires. We want them to see the good in us, and that is wonderful since that is what God desires most for us. I’m so thankful that the Lord tells us that the heart is more important than face, but I love that he tells us how to achieve beauty of the heart. He tells us to look to Him to be our mirror. In Galatians 5:22 are listed the fruit of the spirit, the things that God tells us to pursue, and there is nothing in there about makeup or how to wear your hair, but instead, he lists “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness.” If you are able to see these things in your life, you are on your way to being a beauty that will not fade, and a beauty that brings a smile to God. By striving to mirror God’s character, you will become a woman of integrity and a woman who knows confidence because she does not live by the world’s standards, but by her Heavenly Father’s. It is inevitable that our hair will turn gray, our faces will sag, and our bodies just won’t be what they were at twenty: We will no longer be “beautiful” in the eyes of men, but when our outer beauty is gone, will our true beauty be gone as well? I hope not. I hope people see our generosity, kind hearts, willingness to help those in need, and our hearts for the Lord
Beauty in the Lord
Of course it is easy to read the above and accept it, and even feel motivated to stop obsessing over things like appearance and clothes, but unless we are walking hand in hand with the Lord, that can be impossible; this is made apparent in Proverbs 30:31 which says, "charm is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." In other words, the woman who walks closely with the Lord is constantly learning from him and growing in faith, and so, she is constantly trying to obtain a heart after the Lord’s. Just like a rose plucked from its life source, we wilt within days of being removed from Christ. We can’t expect to rid of worldly views of beauty if we separate ourselves from our Creator who is the one teaching us what real beauty is. The moment we stop searching His truth, we will slowly become immersed, once again, in the world’s views of beauty.
Beauty is not in a magazine, it’s not in Webster’s Dictionary, or in a perfect face. It is in knowing God. Beauty is being satisfied with who God created you to be, and then actively pursuing looking not like the world, but like Christ. Pursue having His heart, and I can guarantee that you will obtain a beauty that is described in Songs of Solomon as " a lily among the brambles."
It is a question that most of us women, if not all of us, linger on every morning when we are brushing our hair, putting on our makeup, or trying to decide if today is going to be a t-shirt day or a “cute” day. Am I beautiful? We might not wonder if the sun envies us like the fair Juliet, but something in us is screaming at the top of its lungs just to hear someone tell us that we are breathtaking, though pretty would do. We want a movie scene where a man knows every shade of our eyes, where everyone happens to look to the top of the staircase where we stand gleaming in our dress, or maybe a few compliments would do. It is healthy and natural for us as women to worry whether we are beautiful or not, because in wondering, we search for what real beauty is. Sadly, we find ourselves searching in all the wrong places: We end up watching movies where the beauty has long legs and a short skirt, comparing ourselves to women in our classrooms or offices, or watching those plastic surgery shows where beauty is only a breast augmentation or liposuction away. Our idea of beauty is often distorted by worldly views and too often it leads one to a devastating sense of self, and possibly, even worth. God created us in His image, and that image is not flawed. We are beautiful, but we have to learn to recognize what genuine beauty is and stop settling for the counterfeited. God tells us what true beauty is, and surprisingly, it has nothing to do with your weight, height, or cup size, but instead, “matters of the heart.” If we could only see ourselves from God’s eyes, the eyes of the beholder, we wouldn’t even need to question the reflection in the mirror.
The Woman God Created You to Be
As silly as it sounds, women remind me of shoes: We can be feminine, sporty, tall, short, curvy, flat, simple, eccentric, a range of colors, and let’s not forget that we come in all sizes. However wonderful and diverse that sounds, some of us can’t wait until we have that bump on our nose removed or lose just fifteen more pounds. We “know” that everyone is different, yet we live as if we should all be the same. The point is that we are buying into the lies of counterfeited beauty and what it “should” look like. Ironically, taller women wish they were a little shorter because short is cute, but short women would love to be taller, because no one realizes that when your short, fat has nowhere to go but out. Women with freckles do everything to get rid of them, while those without would lay in the sun all day to get just one. Curvy women might think they look a little bigger, but we sticks wish we had something to fill out our new jeans. We all know laying out can cause skin cancer, sun spots, and wrinkles, yet we are determined to have a tan because that’s what everyone says is beautiful. If you notice the cycle, you will see that we are all trying to be each other. We all desire each other’s gifts, talents, and especially physical features, but if all of these wishes were granted, we would all be walking clones of each other. We are all unique for a reason, and that uniqueness is awesome. I love walking to class and admiring long hair, short hair, curly hair, small noses, big noses, and even the way other women walk. Each one of us is an original painting that has been personally signed by God, and it is such a shame if we never look at ourselves as a masterpiece, but instead, blot out this or redo that or even crop out a whole section just because we can’t see through God’s eyes and appreciate just how beautiful we truly are. Psalms 139: 14-18 says:
For you formed my inward parts;
You knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
When I was being made in secret,
Intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance
God didn’t just throw on those freckles and “weird” nose. No, we are “intricately woven”. We are each designed and created, and we are each “wonderfully made.” It does not matter what the world says is beautiful, because we are not the world’s creation, we are God’s. Once we realize we all have a specific blue-print, it should be so easy to embrace everything about our body and face, even our flaws and quirks, because those had just as much time in creation as everything else. Being satisfied with yourself will bring about an acceptance and a confidence in yourself that you might have never felt before, and it will certainly be a way for you to praise the Lord.
Beauty is as Beauty Does
My mom has been telling me this endlessly for years, but it came to my attention that God said it way before she was ever born. Let me ask you a question. How many of you have met a woman who was absolutely beautiful, but after five minutes of talking to her, you could swear that the grim reaper was just behind her flowing, thick, and perfectly groomed hair? I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve watched a perceived angel turn into a snarling monster, but it is in those moments that I realize that beauty really is as beauty does. In first peter 3:4 it says "But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." He also says in 1 Samuel 16:7 “…For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on his appearance or on the height of his stature, but the Lord looks on the heart.” As you can see, beauty has absolutely nothing to do with outer appearances, though what is on the outside was created carefully by God, it is the heart that matters most. I’m reminded of a song by Bethany Dillon called “Beautiful,” and my favorite part is “look inside my heart and be amazed”: I know we care about what we look like, but I know for a fact that we care more about who we are. We want people to know our deepest thoughts, and feelings, and desires. We want them to see the good in us, and that is wonderful since that is what God desires most for us. I’m so thankful that the Lord tells us that the heart is more important than face, but I love that he tells us how to achieve beauty of the heart. He tells us to look to Him to be our mirror. In Galatians 5:22 are listed the fruit of the spirit, the things that God tells us to pursue, and there is nothing in there about makeup or how to wear your hair, but instead, he lists “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness.” If you are able to see these things in your life, you are on your way to being a beauty that will not fade, and a beauty that brings a smile to God. By striving to mirror God’s character, you will become a woman of integrity and a woman who knows confidence because she does not live by the world’s standards, but by her Heavenly Father’s. It is inevitable that our hair will turn gray, our faces will sag, and our bodies just won’t be what they were at twenty: We will no longer be “beautiful” in the eyes of men, but when our outer beauty is gone, will our true beauty be gone as well? I hope not. I hope people see our generosity, kind hearts, willingness to help those in need, and our hearts for the Lord
Beauty in the Lord
Of course it is easy to read the above and accept it, and even feel motivated to stop obsessing over things like appearance and clothes, but unless we are walking hand in hand with the Lord, that can be impossible; this is made apparent in Proverbs 30:31 which says, "charm is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." In other words, the woman who walks closely with the Lord is constantly learning from him and growing in faith, and so, she is constantly trying to obtain a heart after the Lord’s. Just like a rose plucked from its life source, we wilt within days of being removed from Christ. We can’t expect to rid of worldly views of beauty if we separate ourselves from our Creator who is the one teaching us what real beauty is. The moment we stop searching His truth, we will slowly become immersed, once again, in the world’s views of beauty.
Beauty is not in a magazine, it’s not in Webster’s Dictionary, or in a perfect face. It is in knowing God. Beauty is being satisfied with who God created you to be, and then actively pursuing looking not like the world, but like Christ. Pursue having His heart, and I can guarantee that you will obtain a beauty that is described in Songs of Solomon as " a lily among the brambles."
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