Lonelilly

Singleness. The sound of that word can either bring about a peaceful smile knowing the Lord will bring about Mr. Right when the time comes, or the epic du du dum where you envision yourself as the notorious old woman with cats clinging to the furniture, covering the floors, and hanging off of your shoulders as your wear a miserable frown. Reality Check. Singleness, as Lady in Waiting taught me, is not a curse that eludes happiness, but really it is a gift that allows one the privilege of spending their heart’s time on the Lord.

Now, I know that most singles freak out at the thought of not getting married before thirty and even the prospect of never getting married at all, but after reading this book I learned to step out of the ideal relationship box and take a different look at singleness. How many of us spend as much as an hour getting ready before going on a date? Come on ladies, how many days before do we constantly try on our new little black dress and maybe even dance around? We invest so much of our lives into working out, getting attractive clothing, and making an effort to be appealing to the opposite sex in hopes of getting the date, the ring…the wedding. Those desires for marriage are natural and God given desires, but to look upon singleness as a negative and not a positive requires a change of heart. God makes us single for this solitary purpose: When we're single we should have more time to devote to him and to our spiritual growth.

I know this may seem radical, but think of God as the man or woman you are pursuing. With any other prospect you would spend time with them; talking to them, listening to them, learning about who they are, what they like, and things that make them tick. You learn about who they are so that you may know them more and hopefully pursue something more with them. Though God may seem like the all powerful who doesn’t really need us, he wants the same. He wants to be our one and only love, and he wants to know you, your thoughts, and heart. Hosea depicts God as the abandoned lover perfectly. It reveals God’s desire to be called beloved and to be our first love. To run from singleness with loathing and run towards others’ arms or even other things to fill your life is to run away from God and the gift he hopes he is offering you; the chance to spend more time with him. By spending time with him we can in turn spend time with others, offering our services. We have time to help with a bible study, to go abroad on a mission trip, and we have time to read and study the word. Relationships take time and effort, and though they are wonderful, they require sacrifice. Once married with children, a quiet time might not be possible like it was during singleness. God is not holding out on you, he is giving you time to explore your faith, a relationship with him, and he is teaching you to be satisfied in him alone.
Too often we claim that we would be better off if we were dating, but after reading this book I learned that even married men and women struggle with unsatisfied hearts. The reason for this unsatisfication is due to attempting to fill the space in your heart God has reserved for himself, with what people thought was meant for their significant other. If you take advantage of this time of singleness to devote yourself completely to God and become a woman or a man of abandonment, then you will learn to let God satisfy all of your needs, and all of your heart's desires. Psalms 37:4 says, "delight yourselves in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Through knowing God, our desires, our hearts, will be satisfied. Notice that we CANNOT have the desires of our heats satisfied without first filling a void meant for God. A boyfriend/girlfriend, not even a spouse can satisfy that place in your heart. God uses singleness as a time to teach you satisfaction so that in marriage you will not rely on your spouse to be everything that God is capable of being.

Too often we think God might have overlooked our heart's desires by subjecting us to short and even permanent singleness, but it is vital to remember that "all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them ever came to be" psalms 139:14-18. He knows the perfect plan for all of us, in a way that we can’t even begin to fathom. If you are having a relationship with him or pursing him wholeheartedly like you would your knight in shining armor or lovely lady, then you should trust that he knows your best, and can therefore satisfy you best. I know Mr. or Mrs. Right is so hard to get out of your head, but take a look at the one who holds the world in his hands, fights for you, calls you beloved, and did the most romantic gesture ever by dying for you…that kind of love can’t be found in another human being.

1) I want to be loved..."..I have loved you with an everlasting love.."...Jer. 31.3
2) I want someone to adore me..."The King had brought me into his chambers to adore me, My lover is outstanding amont 10,000 ...Songs 1:4,5:10
3) I want to be accpeted and valued..."I am accepted in the Beloved.. Eph 1:6
4) I want a champion of my causes- one who is willing to fight for me.."The Lord will fight for you..Ex 14:14
5)I want someone to help me in my life. "There is no one like God who rides the heavens to help you..Deut 33:26
6) I want to share my life-the joys and the struggles- with one person. "God will share with me the treasures of darkness and hidden riches."..Is. 45:3
I hope this will help some of you if this is a struggle of yours, and help you get back into a relationship with God. A time of singleness is really a opportunity and a time to become the person God desires for you to be.