Am I Beautiful?

 "Am I Beautiful?"

It is a question that most of us women, if not all of us, linger on every morning when we are brushing our hair, putting on our makeup, or trying to decide if today is going to be a t-shirt day or a “cute” day. Am I beautiful? We might not wonder if the sun envies us like the fair Juliet, but something in us is screaming at the top of its lungs just to hear someone tell us that we are breathtaking, though pretty would do. We want a movie scene where a man knows every shade of our eyes, where everyone happens to look to the top of the staircase where we stand gleaming in our dress, or maybe a few compliments would do. It is healthy and natural for us as women to worry whether we are beautiful or not, because in wondering, we search for what real beauty is. Sadly, we find ourselves searching in all the wrong places: We end up watching movies where the beauty has long legs and a short skirt, comparing ourselves to women in our classrooms or offices, or watching those plastic surgery shows where beauty is only a breast augmentation or liposuction away. Our idea of beauty is often distorted by worldly views and too often it leads one to a devastating sense of self, and possibly, even worth. God created us in His image, and that image is not flawed. We are beautiful, but we have to learn to recognize what genuine beauty is and stop settling for the counterfeited. God tells us what true beauty is, and surprisingly, it has nothing to do with your weight, height, or cup size, but instead, “matters of the heart.” If we could only see ourselves from God’s eyes, the eyes of the beholder, we wouldn’t even need to question the reflection in the mirror.

The Woman God Created You to Be
As silly as it sounds, women remind me of shoes: We can be feminine, sporty, tall, short, curvy, flat, simple, eccentric, a range of colors, and let’s not forget that we come in all sizes. However wonderful and diverse that sounds, some of us can’t wait until we have that bump on our nose removed or lose just fifteen more pounds. We “know” that everyone is different, yet we live as if we should all be the same. The point is that we are buying into the lies of counterfeited beauty and what it “should” look like. Ironically, taller women wish they were a little shorter because short is cute, but short women would love to be taller, because no one realizes that when your short, fat has nowhere to go but out. Women with freckles do everything to get rid of them, while those without would lay in the sun all day to get just one. Curvy women might think they look a little bigger, but we sticks wish we had something to fill out our new jeans. We all know laying out can cause skin cancer, sun spots, and wrinkles, yet we are determined to have a tan because that’s what everyone says is beautiful. If you notice the cycle, you will see that we are all trying to be each other. We all desire each other’s gifts, talents, and especially physical features, but if all of these wishes were granted, we would all be walking clones of each other. We are all unique for a reason, and that uniqueness is awesome. I love walking to class and admiring long hair, short hair, curly hair, small noses, big noses, and even the way other women walk. Each one of us is an original painting that has been personally signed by God, and it is such a shame if we never look at ourselves as a masterpiece, but instead, blot out this or redo that or even crop out a whole section just because we can’t see through God’s eyes and appreciate just how beautiful we truly are. Psalms 139: 14-18 says:

For you formed my inward parts;
You knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
When I was being made in secret,
Intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance

God didn’t just throw on those freckles and “weird” nose. No, we are “intricately woven”. We are each designed and created, and we are each “wonderfully made.” It does not matter what the world says is beautiful, because we are not the world’s creation, we are God’s. Once we realize we all have a specific blue-print, it should be so easy to embrace everything about our body and face, even our flaws and quirks, because those had just as much time in creation as everything else. Being satisfied with yourself will bring about an acceptance and a confidence in yourself that you might have never felt before, and it will certainly be a way for you to praise the Lord.

Beauty is as Beauty Does
My mom has been telling me this endlessly for years, but it came to my attention that God said it way before she was ever born. Let me ask you a question. How many of you have met a woman who was absolutely beautiful, but after five minutes of talking to her, you could swear that the grim reaper was just behind her flowing, thick, and perfectly groomed hair? I can’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve watched a perceived angel turn into a snarling monster, but it is in those moments that I realize that beauty really is as beauty does. In first peter 3:4 it says "But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." He also says in 1 Samuel 16:7 “…For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on his appearance or on the height of his stature, but the Lord looks on the heart.” As you can see, beauty has absolutely nothing to do with outer appearances, though what is on the outside was created carefully by God, it is the heart that matters most. I’m reminded of a song by Bethany Dillon called “Beautiful,” and my favorite part is “look inside my heart and be amazed”: I know we care about what we look like, but I know for a fact that we care more about who we are. We want people to know our deepest thoughts, and feelings, and desires. We want them to see the good in us, and that is wonderful since that is what God desires most for us. I’m so thankful that the Lord tells us that the heart is more important than face, but I love that he tells us how to achieve beauty of the heart. He tells us to look to Him to be our mirror. In Galatians 5:22 are listed the fruit of the spirit, the things that God tells us to pursue, and there is nothing in there about makeup or how to wear your hair, but instead, he lists “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness.” If you are able to see these things in your life, you are on your way to being a beauty that will not fade, and a beauty that brings a smile to God. By striving to mirror God’s character, you will become a woman of integrity and a woman who knows confidence because she does not live by the world’s standards, but by her Heavenly Father’s. It is inevitable that our hair will turn gray, our faces will sag, and our bodies just won’t be what they were at twenty: We will no longer be “beautiful” in the eyes of men, but when our outer beauty is gone, will our true beauty be gone as well? I hope not. I hope people see our generosity, kind hearts, willingness to help those in need, and our hearts for the Lord

Beauty in the Lord
Of course it is easy to read the above and accept it, and even feel motivated to stop obsessing over things like appearance and clothes, but unless we are walking hand in hand with the Lord, that can be impossible; this is made apparent in Proverbs 30:31 which says, "charm is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." In other words, the woman who walks closely with the Lord is constantly learning from him and growing in faith, and so, she is constantly trying to obtain a heart after the Lord’s. Just like a rose plucked from its life source, we wilt within days of being removed from Christ. We can’t expect to rid of worldly views of beauty if we separate ourselves from our Creator who is the one teaching us what real beauty is. The moment we stop searching His truth, we will slowly become immersed, once again, in the world’s views of beauty.
Beauty is not in a magazine, it’s not in Webster’s Dictionary, or in a perfect face. It is in knowing God. Beauty is being satisfied with who God created you to be, and then actively pursuing looking not like the world, but like Christ. Pursue having His heart, and I can guarantee that you will obtain a beauty that is described in Songs of Solomon as " a lily among the brambles."